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Thanks…. I guess
Leaving your child in the care of another is always a risk. But it is one of those necessary risks, like eating food you dropped on the floor, or sitting down on a public toilet to diarrhea. I always...
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The Worst Story Ever…. And a Total Waste of Money
I kind of think vets are scam artists. I know they help your pets and all, but every time I am there they push Heart Guard and Frontline like a crack dealers. They guilt trip me for not wanting to...
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I Wanna Love you like an Animal
When I used to smoke a lot of pot, I spent an ample amount of time watching animal shows on the Discovery Channel. It became borderline obsessive. I went to the Science Museum, on more than one...
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Death On The Farm
One of the unique advantages of growing up in certain pockets of America is that you have very little exposure to death. For millions of people in the US, the first time they witness mortality is the...
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Just Another Childhood Trauma
Sometimes I like to sit around and think about how my parents totally fucked me up. I just find it relaxing. You know, on those cold fall days where I’m questioning my existence and wondering if my...
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The Universe Hates Me
“At first I was like, sooooo not sure if I should take a job as a Barista when looking at the sign that read, ‘Barista’s wanted.’ But then I was like, wait, that sign is totally a sign from the...
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Nursing the Teat of the Earth Dry
We all have shamanic rituals we enact to get through life on this earth – these sacred routines that help connect you to your higher self and escape the harshness of reality. Maybe for you it’s taking...
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A Tale of White Privilege
Gather round little ones, snuggle by my side, and tuck yourself into a cozy blanket while I tell you a tale of white privilege. Lend me your ears to hear this glorious legend of how I, a white woman,...
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